First blog post

(Pause for 25 min to change and feed her, while leaking breastmilk all over myself).

I am entirely new to the blog world.  I have only followed and read one blog so far in my life.  I don’t necessarily think my life is exceptionally special or interesting, but I have a strong desire to write openly and honesty about my experiences, connect to others, and to help other people feel like they have someone to relate to.  Within the past year I got married and had my first child.  I first had the idea to start a blog when I was pregnant, but I put it off until now (my baby is now over 3 weeks old).  I think this idea came to be when pregnant because it was an experience that was completely different than anything I had experienced, and wanted to share that with others and learn about other women’s experiences as I transitioned to motherhood.  I have been fearful of failure and not really knowing how to navigate blogging (I still don’t know, and don’t know how to get followers).  But I figure why not give it a try.  I enjoy writing and haven’t done so in many years.   My goal is to write about my life; my trials and tribulations, positive and negative experiences, and also offer advice and hope to others.

I am a social worker by trade and this has been my identity and purpose in life.  I love my job and work with people affected by trauma everyday.  It has been an amazing and rewarding career that I will continue to do for many years to come.  I would like to incorporate some of my knowledge and education as a therapist into this blog as well.

My husband is a recovering alcoholic.  He has been sober for nearly two years.  Him getting clean and being involved in AA saved our relationship and has helped him grow tremendously as a person.  Our relationship became stronger due to his journey and I wouldn’t change how we got to where we are.   He is an amazing husband and father, but this aspect of his life and being as involved in “the rooms”  also brings with it difficulties, jealousy, and loneliness for me.   I have often googled about spouses experiences of being married to someone in recovery without much luck.  I hope to bring some awareness and conversation about the spouses experience of recovery.

Most recently, I became a mom.  As I am currently typing my baby woke up and began crying.   (Pause for 25 min to change and feed her, while leaking breastmilk all over myself).  Getting used to caring for another human being above all of my own needs has been a tremendous adjustment in my life.   I know this role has only just begun for me, but it is certainly challenging, stressful, and wonderful all at the same time.  I have had bouts of crying as I breastfeed in the middle of the night, resentful feelings of my husband who can freely move about his life (i.e., leaving the house to go to meetings) while I sit home completely responsible for the food source for my child.  I also wonder how I will be able to balance all of these roles and still find time for me, especially when I return to work.

So this blog is going to be about what’s happening currently and touching upon all of these topics and more- going with the flow from day to day and expressing what’s going on in my life and how I am handling it from a real and honest perspective.