Let’s talk shit

Having an infant means changing diapers.  Lots. of. diapers.  I have been thinking about diapers incessantly since I was pregnant, because my eco-conscious mind has been debating various types of diapers and using the most eco-friendly as well as the most budget friendly diapers I could.  Now that the babe is here and is going through diapers faster than I can guzzle a meal into my mouth, I wanted to share some brands that have worked well.
My husband and I decided we wanted to use cloth diapers.  I was clueless as to which brand to use.  It really came down to cost.   Alva Baby was the cheapest cloth diaper we could find.  61hYt752aHL._SY355_
We did put some on our registry, but apparently people think you’re really weird when you want to use cloth diapers, so we only received 6.  We had found used cloth diapers online ( I can imagine this also that sounds really strange), and bought about 18 for $100.  But we soon realized that “one size” does not really mean one size.  I researched and realized that the baby would need newborn size.  We ordered a bunch of newborn size Alva Baby diapers band new which have fit her really well.  She has been in them over a month now and they still fit.  The only problem with these diapers is we can’t seem to get the poop stain out- we use Dreft stain remover, baking soda, and Seventh Generation Detergent and it still seems to leave a yellow stain.  I have no idea how the parents cleaned the cloth diapers we bought from them!  Cloth diapers are obviously a but more work, we do presoak them in a bucket in the bathroom and once full throw them in the washing machine.  Despite the staining I do like these diapers, although  I have not yet tried any other brand.
I also found Andy Pandy diapers.  503bbf89126b9754b5e34b373f87d697--pandy-diapersThey are bamboo and biodegradable which was super important for me, because you know, the earth and all.  I couldn’t live with myself piling up the landfills with Pampers or Huggies.  And being honest with myself I knew I wasn’t going to ALWAYS use cloth especially when traveling.  I do love these diapers, but the sizing does run large, and even though I purchased newborn size, I had to fold the tops of the diapers to have them fit the babe, and even then they seemed too large.  When she hit the 8.5lb mark they fit her much better.   They are absorbent and show when she is wet with a blue line on the diaper.   These run about $35 for 94.
Due to the Andy Pandy being too large at first, we did go with Honest Diapers. 81vxHODYjxL._SX355_ The newborn size are true to size.  And they are super cute as well- not like you ever really see the diaper since babies do usually have clothes on.  These are also absorbent and decently priced.  These run about $14 for 40.  So far she hasn’t had diaper rash and seems to do well using a combination of all three.
 I succumb to my role of the gruesome diaper changes, blowouts, and feces up the back of her clothes.  Luckily it really is true that your own kids poop is less gross to you than other kids poop, but it still does stink on many different levels.  🙂

First blog post

(Pause for 25 min to change and feed her, while leaking breastmilk all over myself).

I am entirely new to the blog world.  I have only followed and read one blog so far in my life.  I don’t necessarily think my life is exceptionally special or interesting, but I have a strong desire to write openly and honesty about my experiences, connect to others, and to help other people feel like they have someone to relate to.  Within the past year I got married and had my first child.  I first had the idea to start a blog when I was pregnant, but I put it off until now (my baby is now over 3 weeks old).  I think this idea came to be when pregnant because it was an experience that was completely different than anything I had experienced, and wanted to share that with others and learn about other women’s experiences as I transitioned to motherhood.  I have been fearful of failure and not really knowing how to navigate blogging (I still don’t know, and don’t know how to get followers).  But I figure why not give it a try.  I enjoy writing and haven’t done so in many years.   My goal is to write about my life; my trials and tribulations, positive and negative experiences, and also offer advice and hope to others.

I am a social worker by trade and this has been my identity and purpose in life.  I love my job and work with people affected by trauma everyday.  It has been an amazing and rewarding career that I will continue to do for many years to come.  I would like to incorporate some of my knowledge and education as a therapist into this blog as well.

My husband is a recovering alcoholic.  He has been sober for nearly two years.  Him getting clean and being involved in AA saved our relationship and has helped him grow tremendously as a person.  Our relationship became stronger due to his journey and I wouldn’t change how we got to where we are.   He is an amazing husband and father, but this aspect of his life and being as involved in “the rooms”  also brings with it difficulties, jealousy, and loneliness for me.   I have often googled about spouses experiences of being married to someone in recovery without much luck.  I hope to bring some awareness and conversation about the spouses experience of recovery.

Most recently, I became a mom.  As I am currently typing my baby woke up and began crying.   (Pause for 25 min to change and feed her, while leaking breastmilk all over myself).  Getting used to caring for another human being above all of my own needs has been a tremendous adjustment in my life.   I know this role has only just begun for me, but it is certainly challenging, stressful, and wonderful all at the same time.  I have had bouts of crying as I breastfeed in the middle of the night, resentful feelings of my husband who can freely move about his life (i.e., leaving the house to go to meetings) while I sit home completely responsible for the food source for my child.  I also wonder how I will be able to balance all of these roles and still find time for me, especially when I return to work.

So this blog is going to be about what’s happening currently and touching upon all of these topics and more- going with the flow from day to day and expressing what’s going on in my life and how I am handling it from a real and honest perspective.